Martorilor lui iehova

xx

New Member
<offtopic> nu am scris chestia asta la tema corespunzatoare din "religie" deoarece acolo se discuta cu totul altceva.</offtopic>
Deci, adresare martorilor lui iehova:

o, mult-stimati martori daca ati sti voi cat de tare m-au exasperat fratii vostri europeni! Vreau sa comand, daca o sa am timp saptamana viitoare, o chestie care se incleie sub butonul de la soneria de la poarta, si pe care scrie "Martori a lui iehova! Nu sunati, pentru ca nu suntem interesati in discursurile voastre!". Am vazut asa ceva la vecini. (tre sa aflu si daca funtioneaza)
Eu nustiu cei cu religia voastra, si ce practicati voi acolo, pentru ca in genere nu ma intereseaza religia, insa in momentul cand lucrez pana la 5 dimineata, si ma gandesc ca am 6 ore de dormit linistit ca un om alb, si inchid telefon, totul, si la 8 dimineata sunt trezit de un sunet strident, si o intrebare in interfon "vreti sa cunoasteti adevarul?" "stiti totul despre dumnezeu?" "vrem sa discutam cu dvs despre nemurirea sufletului" - pai imi vine sa va trimit cu tot cu marturia voastra undeva. Ceea ce si fac in ultimul timp, pentru ca e imposibil deja de suportat. Sunati dimineata, la amiaza, in week-end, cand ma uit la tv, cand navighez, cand mananc, cand sun in dush, cand dorm... bine ca nu sa nimerit nimeni sa sune cand fac si dragoste, ca pe cuvantul meu, la starea care m-ati adus s-ar fi terminat si cu mutilare de moaca si impunere de a mesteca si inghiti integral "turnul de veghe"
Nu mai vorbesc de mine, ca nu ma intereseaza religii, insa voi chiar asa credeti ca o sa aduceti cuvantul dumnezeului vostru la inima oamenilor? Tre sa va ganditi ce efecte face propaganda voastra nu numai prin cuvintele ei, dar si prin insesi faptul cum o faceti voi..
 
xx, tu nu te lasa, pregateste o "spalera" sau o bata de baseball ceva...
si cand i-i vezi ca vin - dupa dansii! astia chiar o "zaibit miru" + bactistii. spune-le
ca-i dai in judecata, poate i-i sperii nitel...
 
Asta si ii problema, ca in actiunile lor nui nimica penal, anume ca daca ies eu cu bita si ii dau in cap - ei pot sa apeleze la jusitie :(
 
pe mine tot felul de Mormoni de fiecare data ma intrerup cind citesc vreo carte in unul din parcurile mai frumoase de aici din Helsinki. De fiecare data am norocul sa mai vina shi vreun reprezentant al vreo unei congregatsii "devotate bibliei" shi totul degenereaza intr-o discutsie dintre totsi ei.

intr-o zi le-am zis ca citesc "Maestrul shi Margareta" de Bulgakov. Bineinteles ca nici unul nu au auzis de Bulgakov, cu atit mai mult de opera, dar era interesant sa le vezi culoarea fetsii cind le povesteam contsinutul :D s-au dus destul de repede...
 
va invit in Danemarka, aici de 2 ani inca nu am intilnit nici mormoni, nici martori, in general aici totsi sunt atei :lol:
 
of, cititul ca cititul, daca sunt prin preajma si ei suna, ridic receptorul de la interfon, iam zis unde sa se duca, si gata. Insa cand sunt in baie, si ma rad, ori fac dush, si aud soneria, si stiind ca aici de obicei lumea innainte de a face o vizita mai da si un telefon, incep a banui ca-i vreo urgenta. Si sar asa cum sunt (traiesc singur, n-are cine in afara de mine sa vada), fac casa numa apa, ori cu mutra numa spuma, si cand vad cine o venit..

Oameni buni, dativa cu idei ce sa scriu sub buton astfel incat sa le treaca gustul la orice martor de a suna vreodata :)
 
acesti martori deja ma cam exaspereaza, tot timpul venind la mine acasa si dindu-mi brosuri nesolicitate..deja nu le m-ai deschid usa :p 8)
 
ha-ha-ha :D Chiar acuma, cu 5 min in urma, aud soneria, ma uit pe geam, vad pe unu in galben, fug la interfon, ridic receptorul, deja fiind gata sa-l trimit undeva, si cand colo, acela era baiatul care aduce yellow pages :lol:
 
Iaca ce am gasit in net impotriva martorilor sus mentionati :
How to get rid of Jehovah's Witnesses

A chalk outline of a human body on the sidewalk, and a few copies of "The Watchtower"
scattered around...

My mother (a second-generation atheist) used to say (in a very sweet voice): "I'm sorry, I
don't give a damn about Jesus.". Worked every time. The Witnesses just backed off the porch
in slack-jawed, bug-eyed disbelief.

Agreed, we are not prepared for this one, but it has to be carried off perfectly. The more
sincere you appear, the more baffled the Witness will be: Answer the door with an automatic
weapon and say 'Allah be Praised!!!' and just see what happens.

Automatic weapons are undeniably the best deterrent to Witnesses. For extra effect, fire a
few rounds into the air or towards their car. Pretend you hear a voice inside your head
telling you to kill the witness. Guaranteed to stop future visits for several years.

The young couple came to my door. I was wearing my robe, and had just awakened. now let me
explain, I am a very unusual looking person anyway, but when I awake, I look like some kind
of movie monster, I have hair all over everywhere. I made my eyes real piercing, and stared
past them. I knew who they were, you can tell, they look so cute in their getup and their
bland faces. Well the female one obviously is supposed to do the introduction because she
sort of panicked, and said: "We're... we're... we're... we're... we're..." And then she
stared helplessly at the other one and he said: "uh... uh... uh... uh..." I then did a
really fierce grin and stuck out my hand in a very fast gesture, and opened all my fingers,
and in a voice sort of a mixture between Peter Lore and Lurch, I said: "I... WILL... TAKE...
YOUR... LITERATURE... AND... GIVE... IT... TO... MY... MASTER.". The male one quickly handed
me a copy of whatever rag they were peddling. They did not ask for a donation.They ran. It's
a true story, and they never came back.

A friend claims that when Jehovah's Witlesses knock on her door,her first response is to ask
for their address. When they ask why she wants to know, she says it is so she can visit them
to push her beliefs. So far, none of them have given their address. It also marks the end of
the interview. SLAM!

A guy goes up to my friend's friend and asks, "Can I talk to you about God?". She says,
"Sure, what would you like to know?".

JW ladies come to the door. One of them has small child in tow. Interrupts SIW's dinner. If
you knew SIW like I knew SIW, you wouldn't do that. SIW: "Thank you, but I already have a
religion.". JW: "May I ask what it is?". SIW: "I'd really rather not say.". {Pregnant pause}
"I'm not sure if it's legal in this country.". Supposedly they gave her a real strange look
on their way back down the stairs.

I answer the door with a bloody knife and say, "I'm sorry, could you come back in a half
hour? We're not done with the virgin yet.".

Pretend to be the slowest talking person in the world and see how long their spirit of
Christian charity lasts.

Answer every one of their questions with "What do you mean by that?" This might take a while,
but you and your loved ones can have fun placing bets on how long it takes for them to get
flustered and leave.

Ask them to explain the story of Elisha and the Forty two children. You may have to resort
to another method to actually get rid of them, but this will definitely make them sweat.
(2 Kings, chapt.2, ummm... somewhere near the end)

Excuse yourself from your sitting room (or wherever) and DO NOT come back.

Make a series of increasingly reprehensible fake phone calls. (booky, order for pornography,
drug deal, obscene call, and if they are STILL there, a tearfull confession to the police
for the murder of the last Witnesses who visited you.)

Pick an oft-repeated word in their lexicon (God, Jesus, heaven, it, the etc.) and giggle
whenever they utter it. If they ask you what's going on, say "Nothing, why?" in very even
tones, and giggle again.

(males only) Feign an intense interest in their speil. Part way through, begin putting on
make-up, hosery, a dress, the whole works. (make encouraging noises [uh huh, I see...]
throughout and if they ask you what you're doing, pull a #7) If they're still there when you
are done, ask them if they would please kindly leave as you have a hot date in ten minutes.

Look smug and tell them that your God can beat up their God.


P.S. Sper ca intlegeti engleza... :lol:
 
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